B-Werx

As far as creativity is concerned, I'm in a bit of slump lately. Though I'm having some minor inspiration moments, I suddenly loose interest whenever I think that it will require me to put some effort into what I want to do, and then I'll just stop. For short, I became really lazy! I have a lot of hobbies and interests one of them being Plamo, RC trucks (and basically converting stuff into RC units), manga and drawing. The thing that occupies most of my time at the moment is my other manga activity. I have a little group on the internet and we work on various mangas (mostly love comedy and ecchi), last year the group was in a rut and this year we are hoping to boost our productivity to catch up on lost time for last year. One of the first releases we did was a project that was on hiatus for the entire year of 2012. Most of its readers admit of growing old, but hopefully we'll gather new readers for it this year. once I get more free time I suppose I'll work on my personal mangas as well. I'm already refurbishing old works that I haven't uploaded here yet and hopefully revive my old love for drawing my own mangas. Till I get set free from my bonds, all I can do is wait...

This holiday is overrated, it turns the way I expected...
Hah! The year is about to end and so much for that apocalyptic Mayan calendar prediction. The question now is, "What to do next?"

Well, after all this talk of world's end and all of those apocalyptic predictions failed, I could say that we are all given more chances to do things we wanted to do. Finish some unfinished business and do more awesome stuff that we want to do... Now that I think about it. I'll just do that. I'll do the thing that I have been putting off for years and whatever happens I'll face it with my head held up high...

Besides, I can't lose something that I never had in the first place.

I'm torn between two thoughts, one is the insatiable urge to work on my Freedom plamo and the other is to work on a manga project. It's been ages since I worked on a manga and I'm having the urge to work on a chapter release ASAP, on the other hand I'm having Gundam dreams. My hand is itching for a plamo and feeling restless just thinking of it!
I have a Master Grade kit of the Freedom Gundam of Gundam Seed and it's the clear armor version. Last month I was having dreams of collecting the MG releases of the Gundam Seed machines and so far I have collected 3 the Buster, Duel & the Freedom. Hopefully another one is on the way the Aegis and I'm also thinking of getting the Providence kit for a possible diorama for the Freedom. The thing is that the white parts of the Freedom kit is all clear plastic! I was so desperate in getting one I didn't mind buying the stuff that many people passed off. Looking at the box, it seems like it's a few years old and that somebody had already bought it and just returned it. Anyway, I took it as a challenge to myself to paint it and make it look like the one on the instruction manual. I got the paint, the equipment and the mad painting skills needed to do the job, all I need is a little time to work on it. and since it's the only thing I mentioned in this journal entry, I'll work on the plamo tonight!!!

I also have a half finished Heavyarms kit lying around and I haven;t figured out what to do with it. I'm thinking of using it as a guinea pig for my scratch build project of the Igel system. and on the other, I'm thinking of converting it to the H-Arms custom modding the chest mounted double Gatling guns into four smaller ones. I'll also have to scratch build the double Gatling guns since getting the HG kit for bashing is no longer possible... So Gundam it is!! Glad I finally decided on that.

Ever had those dreams where every thing feel so real you never realize that you were dreaming? It's a rare type of dream (for most of us at least) called Lucid dream. This is a part where you became conscious or you mind wakes up while in the R.E.M. (Rapid Eye Movement) sleep stage. There are a lot of recent studies about dreams and they officially have a term for it "Oneironology". I have been having such dreams for as long as I can remember and as I read more about it, I discovered that there are people who can actually train themselves to wake up in the dream and take control of it, they are called "Oneironauts", like astronauts, they explore their dream plane while being conscious that everything is a dream. Yesterday I happened to stumble upon a "How To" video on YouTube teaching how to lucid dream. It felt like I hit jackpot! I occasionally have lucid dreams, but I was not able to induce one at will. The tutorial video gave out some interesting tips on how to induce or raise chance for a lucid dream. First is condition your mind and instruct it to wake up in the dream, by telling yourself before you doze off to wake up in the dream. Another tip is to make 'cues' or clues that once you see them, you will know that you are dreaming, much like the 'totems' in Inception, but without the dream sharing machine! It seems pretty crazy but I somehow managed to produce a lucid dream! I dreamed of narrow driveways leading up to parking lots in the sky, car spoiler hats and bananas! Lots and lots of bananas! (not sure why I saw bananas in there though...) The down side was that I was so hooked on reminding myself to dream that I forgot to realize that I was already in a dream and that I was trying to dream within that dream!! After I woke up and realized that I overshot my target and just ended up with a face palm. I immediately logged the entire dream in my journal recalling every detail that I can remember so that once I sober up entirely I can recall the events of the dream.
For the first time in months I never felt so excited, it's like I am going off to a new adventure in an entirely different place. It's like exploring the other side of the coin, being the flip side of reality is the dream plane. Wouldn't it be nice to live on both sides in reality and in dreams? Though I must admit that I still need a bit more training in inputting my own 'Cue'. But this is indeed some strange Sh*T that I can't wait to try out again tonight! Be posting more of the stuff I see in my dreams, there really are some crazy things in there that is just plain ridiculous and impossible in reality.

DANG!! It's been more than half a year now since I last picked up my pencil and drew anything. It's disappointing and vexing in my part because I feel that part of me is slowly dying and fading away. A few days ago I saw this demotivational poster from a website and it reads, "IMAGINATION, don't let the inner kid die" and it shows a guy laying on top of a badly damaged (scraped) pavement with an overlay drawing of what looks like Son Gouku's arms and hair (as if seeing the whole thing from a 1 payer perspective). It felt like an arrow into the brain and made me ask myself, "how is my inner kid doing?" And an answer quickly followed, "he became lazy." OH GOD!! This is what I was afraid of... Because of my hectic new life as part of the working class I have stopped developing, I stopped dreaming and I have stopped imagining, and worse... I stopped drawing. It's sad because some few years back I could remember that almost every night I have dreams, colorful, wild and vivid dreams of interesting places not found in this world, and weird characters that would only exist in the 2D plane (anime!). I had vivid imagination, I had motivation and I was striving to develop and improve. And then, I graduated... I had to work to survive and my work took most of my time away. Now, I rarely have dreams... All I get is stress... I became lazy... Looking back then, I always kept a journal, a story journal. A journal where I put bits and pieces of ideas for stories that would pop up into my head. It was amazing after I reviewed all of them a few years later, they would have been great stories, and some of them now have parallels in recently published mangas T_T crap!!
I try to draw now and it feels different. I'm slowly forgetting how to draw!!! I can't let this happen. I mustn't let this happen! When I get time I will revive my inner kid and start imagining again. I will not let the fire of imagination die within me, even though now that it seems like a small candle light flickering in the wind, will not let it die.

Enough of the emotional rambling, time to work. But maybe before I retire my body to sleep tonight I'll try to make a doodle and post it.